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  • Bevin L.

Meggie's Voice - A Mom's Fight for Change


How does a mother sum up her child’s life? It is impossible to put it completely on paper or into words. Meghan made me a mom, a mommy, a mother, a Madre. And most of all she made me proud. Proud that she loved without end and always wanted to help others even when she couldn’t help herself. I know she had her flaws - we all do. But she loved hard and that’s what matters in the end. Not the mistakes made along the way but the love for others.


Meghan loved so many things and so many people. Sunrises, sunsets, all animals, food - especially tacos, sushi, and steak. She loved people. She loved babies. She loved her family - myself, my husband who raised her and who she called Dad. Her sisters, her bother. She loved them so very very much. She was always proud of their accomplishments, and she has missed such milestones and won’t be here for anymore. And the special people in her world - Kayla, Ashley, Staples, Sarah, Megan, Marissa, Grandma Buddy, Meena and her grandfather – Pop Pop. I take comfort knowing she is with her Grandma and her grandfather Felix - aka Boobie. She loved her aunts but especially her aunt Christine & her aunt Karen, all of her uncles and all of her cousins. She loved camping in Montauk and the families we camped with - especially her Tommy Kirby. She loved Law & Order SVU & Ghost Whisperer - she would call or text me whenever there was a marathon on. She loved laughing and her nostrils would flare in and out when she did. She hated clowns, scary movies, and needles - which is ironic considering how many tattoos she had.


At her funeral there were so many people. So many and we didn’t know more than half. They were people that Meghan had touched, impacted. They shared stories with us about how she would help them when they were in dark places - even if she was in one too.


Meghan has missed so much and will miss even more. She’s missed milestones for her sisters and brother. Milestones for her friends. Milestones for herself - things that will never happen now. But we know Meghan’s with us always. We feel her.


Meghan often at times seemed like an enigma, but she wasn’t. She just wanted to love and be loved. the essence of her spirit, her personality, her being - truly can’t be described by words. To know her was to love her, even when she drove you crazy.


I am forever and will be forever grateful for our last phone call at 334 on October 23, 2021. I am grateful for the chance to tell her she was worthy of more than someone like the defendant - that she deserved better. That I wanted her to know her worth. I am grateful the conversation ended with I will call you later - I will be out text me first. Ok - love you Madre - I love you too Meghan. I went home to take a nap and at 450 something made me wake up and jump off the couch. I didn’t know until I heard the Sgt testify that it was right before Meghan took her last breath - a bond between a mother and her child is so strong. I will always carry her with me.


These pictures of Meghan – one was taken exactly two years ago today – the one of her and her dog Supreme. She loved Supreme so much. And the other was from her 27th birthday – June 29, 2021. Her last birthday here. We spent her 28th birthday spreading her ashes in Montauk– all because of the acts of another.


There are no words that can bring Meghan back to all who love her. There’s no sentence long enough to undo the hurt and the pain we all feel. All we can do now is to try and pick up the pieces and live a life that would make Meghan proud.


These words were what I read at the sentencing of Meghan’s murderer. Meghan lost her life to domestic violence on October 23, 2021. She was 27 years old. Meghan led a life that was not always easy, she had many obstacles and challenges to overcome. It took her many years to truly realize her worth, remember her worth. Meghan was a victim of domestic violence more than once. She had a few ex-boyfriends that were abusive, and the forms of abuse ranged from verbal, emotional, financial to physical. Each time a relationship ended, she and I would discuss how she needed time to herself, to work on herself, to heal herself.


When she left Albany to move back to Long Island, it seemed like she was ready to work on herself, that she was recognizing her worth. Her friend helped her pack up and leave – leaving her dog behind because she just needed to get out.


Her murderer eventually followed her down here. He used the dog and the car they co owned as a means to reconnect with her. They did not get back together but she did let him stay by her until he got on his feet. Shortly thereafter Meghan needed him to leave as her grandmother was due home from a rehab facility. It was becoming a matter of time being the essence and he had to go.


She texted me that morning that she was trying to get him to leave, and he was being difficult and she did not want to call the police. I replied that if he would not leave that she would have to call the police. I spoke to her five hours later. She said he was leaving – but he was mad because he had nowhere to go, that he had no money and would rob a drug store if necessary, but that he would not go back to prison. That he would rather suicide by cop. She told me that her response to him was that sounded like a personal problem and not her problem. We talked about how she really needed to focus on herself, healing and growing. It was our last conversation.


When Gabby Petito was missing and then found, I remember sitting at my kitchen table and crying. I remember saying that could have been Meghan. Six weeks later – it was. Here’s the thing – domestic violence – it does not discriminate. It does not care your race, your financial status, your age, your upbringing, your career choice. Your educational level, your friend circle, your religion – all of that is irrelevant. Domestic Violence affects so many. Take a look around you – if it is not you – then it is most definitely someone you know. Victims of domestic violence often have the feeling of shame. And they should not. To be able to leave an abusive relationship is not always easy – as a matter of fact it is so much harder than people realize. There are so many moving components and there is a chance of more physical harm to come. It is the harsh reality of being in an abusive relationship. If you are a victim, please know you are not alone. There is support for you and many of us – we are survivors ourselves. We do understand and we do care.


When I sit back and think of things that I regret, one of the biggest regrets is not knowing about all the agencies and resources that are available to help victims of domestic violence. I feel that if we knew, maybe things would have been different for my daughter…maybe she would still be here.


So, what I ask of all of you, is to please always remember your worth, your importance. And if someone tries to take that away from you – even if it is just a friend – please pay attention to that warning sign. Because people who love you will not try to make you feel less valuable.


And if you are in a situation like that now, please know that you are not alone. There are so many people available to help. You matter. You are worthy. You are important. Together we can all make a change and work to stop domestic violence.







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How Gabby Inspired Me

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but I’m not sure I’m articulating it well enough, so please forgive me if this seems rambling or disorganised. Also please forgive me for how long this is.

5 Comments


Dana Schwab
Dana Schwab
Oct 16, 2023

Gabby inspired me to finally leave as well. Gabby touches so many lives still today.The legacy that she carries resonates amongst those that like her want to touch the world with the light that she had possessed.

A warrior that exudes strength to find the courage to finally say enough is enough. To take care of herself to find the peace and the serenity to make a life that embraces soul connections. To have the ability to stand up and advocate for all those which include Gabby that its time for those with law enforcement badges with judiciary and legal titles to listen to those that have been on the receiving end to be heard, seen and felt mat…


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Blade Cairo
Blade Cairo
Sep 19, 2023

I am so sorry for your loses. I am 11 months out of a horribly abusive/narcissistic relationship. he beat me, tortured me, emotionally broke me, mentally broke me, and was able to basically kidnap/hold me hostage in my own home for almost a year aside from groceries and whatever he wanted, and almost killed twice. I am ashamed of how I got away but I drugged his soda with my sleeping meds and left while he was out cold. I moved to Florida (here now) and got myself some serious mental health help. I now have a wonderful female partner (I'm an AFAB person) who has truly been the best support I've ever had. she is helping me redirect my…

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Dana Schwab
Dana Schwab
Aug 25, 2023

I am so sorry for the pain that you enduring from losing your daughter Meghan she touched many lives by the comments that are made. Just like Gabby did as well. I have a person that I came in contact with that lost her daughter Kelsey by suicide because she was strangled by her abuser. Kelsey was sent home from the hospital that same day. Kelsey committed suicide a week later. There is no accountability for the person that did this to Kelsey in March of 2021. I want more than anything for Kelli Kneeland Harris to have peace, and justice. It breaks my heart every time I talk to Kelli and seeing you in the pain of losing …

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deesleepy611
Jul 28, 2023

Meghan and her family have been in our lives forever. I was 7yrs old and we needed to find friends so we knocked on doors to see if they had children to play with. Your mom was the first to say of course come on in. When Meghan was born and you had he baptism I was highered to watch and play with all the children! I held Meghan in my arms! The day she was killed Grandma had called me and asked me to check on her bc she wasn’t answering the phone! I of course started to walk over and was stopped by the police! I begged them to let me go I could help if Meghan needed…

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princessofunicorns
Jul 18, 2023

Thank you. 💜

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